In part one I challenged melinda and it is not an empty challenge. But I have a sub (slave as she likes to call her self, though I think that label does not apply to our relation). A Dom should have loyalty towards his sub so the challenge in it self could be interpreted as betrayal towards saida. Hence part two, to shed light on the relation I have with saida.
The relation I have with her is very different from the one I had (and still have in a different form) with melinda:
The most significant difference is the absence of love. She does not love me and I do not love her. Though I am fond of her and think she is a remarkable young woman.
From the onset this relation was not intended to become a real life relation (and had no chance).
Saida wants to leave "the scene" one day and start a (vanilla) family and have children. I think she is winding down but she can't kick the habit.
Her ex master was very extreme and in that relation she was really a slave. The things he did to her where partly immoral in my opinion and if he would not have dumped her she would have suffered permanent mental scars. She knows it and reluctantly had to admit that was the case and not desirable. It never failed to amaze me how far it went, given the fact she is a neurologist.
But most importantly, our relation has taken an unexpected turn in the past few months. The D/s relation I have with saida is purely on-line. She follows online instructions/task and she needs to be humiliated to feel submissive. I have been experimenting with ways to humiliate her and one of the things I asked her to do is to go to a lesbian bar and seek a girl to have sex with. She had to accept advances from any girl. saida is a purely straight girl, at least that is what she claims. As it turned out the girl with whom she had this one night affair came out of a failed lesbian relation and sadia was her first adventure after this happened. To make a long story short, they fell in love with each other. My position on this kind if conflicts is and has always been that real life takes precedence over on-line relations. Though saida told me she would stop seeing this girl if I wanted to, in order to save our relation, I have encouraged her to keep up with her new GF and see where this goes. saida has moved in a week ago with her new friend (who is by the way pure vanilla). It has been very interesting to see this relation grow and to see saida come to terms with the fact she might not be as straight as she thought she was. We have agreed to see how this new situation affects our D/s relation, but part of me feels she is now in a new more important phase of her life where she started a serious open ended relation. The inevitable will sooner or later happen. Those 2 relations do not combine, and the one offering more depth should prevail.
Should this happen, and I think it will, where does it leave me? I would look back on it as success for the simple reason that I have undone some of the damage done by her previous master and in a way (by proxy) I have given saida her love. It would be a good end to a completed chapter and everyone can look back with no regrets. Could it be any better?
No, no it couldn't be any better than that....You have a knack for finding broken ppl and healing parts of them <3
ReplyDeleteI do want to set the record straight though.
I have been happy from the start that you found her, I knew it would be good for you, I think you know the only beef I had with that(?). Same goes for now, the "shovel-part" (sorry for talking in code...you ppl would get horrified if you knew what i was referring to :P) wasn't about her at all -it was about the BLOG.
Yes, it astounded me that my reaction yesterday was more or less exactly the same as the first time you wrote of other subs of yours. You didn't realise I had a hard time with it? Shame you deleted the posts, otherwise you'd probably been able to go back and find it out for yourself (no, i probably didn't say it straight out).
And just to be SUPER clear: I have never, NEVER asked or implied that I would want you to do anything at all that would compromise your relation or for you to be loyal to me over her -never! And I wouldn't! In fact, I am pretty sure I have done the opposite...?
I feel my comments and posts have been misinterpreted somewhere along the line....I'm just not quite sure where it needs straightening out... :/
I admire you, and the outlook you have, as you describe above, on relationships and D/s, and it is one of the things that I will always regard you highly for. I am sorry that it doesn't change things, and that i can't say the things you want to hear from me...that was never my intent in coming here. Maybe this was a mistake? I think it might have been. I'm sorry, I didn't see it until now. This is your space, your space to use for moving on - not for me to hold you back! I'm sorry, I really didn't see it until right this moment.
(NO no no, don't worry, I'm not cutting ties! Not to you, just to the blog. OK? It's not right for me to be here, i dunno how I didn't see that before, I can be such a fool at times of not thinking!). Sorry! You're welcome over to mine at any time though ;)
have you resumed your bog? Cool, I will have a look. Any way, I would love you to be here and your comments are welcome as ever. And don't get me wrong, I am not cutting anybody loose in an attempt to get back to you. This is an inevitable outcome as I see it. And it might ale a while, but sooner or later it will be the case. And I think in this case I will cut her lose but not before I make sure she does not seek an other Master. Not because I want to be the last one, but because I want her to succeed in this accidental relation she entered as a result of a task I gave her.
ReplyDeleteI know, and it's not what I meant..but this place is yours to use to look forward, not for me to be hanging around making it into limbo-space....
ReplyDeleteWe still have eachother outside of here :)
(And I told you I had -how about reading your messages, not just looking at them? *eyeroll* ;P )
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ReplyDelete:* Over & Out <3
ReplyDeleteoh dear I had commented and then it was gone...to reiterate..Elder I think you gave your girl the most precious gift a Dom coul give his girl...Love.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand how any Dom worth their salt could damage their girl/slave /sub. He is not worthy of her submission and this is why I believe that a girl should keep her wits about her as this smacks of domestic abuse and sub women need to be aware that not all Doms are real Doms, human Doms, sadist or not, daddy or not, Master or Sir.
Hi L, thanks for commenting. It took me a while to reply to your comment but here we go. The love I gave her will ultimately undo the D/s relation we have. Ironically because after loosing melinda because my love for her distorted my view on how to treat her as sub, I thought to have learned my lesson and with saida there is no love as between me and melinda. (Though I think every Dom will love his sub in one way or an other, even if it is a different kind of love then between a couple). Any way, having managed to separate Dominance from love with saida, she falls in love with the first person I order her to fuck. I guess that was her Karma, so that is fine with me.
ReplyDeleteThe "damage" as done by her previous Dom is not complete clear cut because she wanted to be a no limit slave. How ever no limit slave or not a Dom is still accountable for his behaviour. I think saida had a bit of a Stockholm syndrome with her previous Dom, which makes it difficult for me to understand how much she liked it or not. But by her own admission she was sliding in the abyss and that can't be good.
saida also wants to be my no limit slave. Though I don't agree with that definition when it becomes to us, she is more my sub, I am not going to argue about terms and definitions. If it makes her feel submissive by referring to her self as slave, then it works fine with me. The irony here also is that as "no limit slave" she thinks she has no rights what so ever, which is logical from a point of view of the definition. But I am a much "softer" and "kinder" Dom (to melinda's frustration) then one would expect to be a "No Limits Master". The irony here is that though she must accept what I throw at her as no limit slave, she is actually happy (in her words) to have a Dom who retrains himself. This makes me believe that she worn out as slave but can't kick the habit. No promises but I will endeavour to keep blogging about her and our relation.